The Perfect Man (There IS such a thing!)
A number of years ago in my journal I wrote “not much else leaves a person feeling emptier than watching Hallmark movies and realizing what you don’t have (and never will have) in a man.”
Inspired by sappy Hallmark movies, I didn’t want to long for a man to make me feel the way the women in those movies feel when they’re with their dream guy. I wanted Jesus.
It’s natural to long for a relationship (and a perfect man) like what you see in the movies.
From the very beginning, our hearts were designed for relationship. And The Fall left us with a hunger in our hearts that can be satiated by none other than God.
When we expect or hope for a man to make us feel wanted, beautiful, valuable, or protected, we are putting that man in the position of God in our lives. We cannot rely on another broken human heart to satisfy the longings of ours.
But we can rely on Jesus to do that. And I’d wanted to know all the ways that Jesus could be all that those “savior men” in the movies were: kind, freedom-giving, gentle, passionate, strong, faithful, understanding, patient, protective, and more.
So I did the (maybe not-so-obvious) obvious thing: I went to Scripture. Here is what I found.
Just like in Hallmark movies, Jesus is someone who . . .
Is head-over-heels crazy about you even though you have obvious flaws Psalm 31: 7 “I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul”
Enjoys your company Zephaniah 3: 17 “The Lord your God is with you. He will take great delight in you”
Takes you on adventures Mark 1: 20 “Without delay he called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men and followed him”
Goes along with you on your adventures Joshua 1: 9 “the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go”
Understands your pain Heb. 4: 15 “we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses”
Doesn’t reject you even when you reject him Isaiah 41: 9 “I have chosen you and have not rejected you”
Gives you the freedom to reject him 2 Timothy 2: 13 “if we are faithless, he remains faithful”
Waits for you to return Malachi 3: 7 “Ever since the time of your ancestors you have turned away from my decrees and have not kept them. Return to me.”
Sends you reminders of his love Psalm 37: 4 “he will give you the desires of your heart”
Shows you the ways that you’re stuck and how to move forward Psalm 25: 9 “He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way”
Understands his own pain (loss, rejection) and has healed from it Matthew 26: 2, 30 “the Son of Man will be handed over to be crucified” | “one of you will betray me” | “you will disown me three times” | “then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, ‘Sit here while I go over there and pray’” | “not as I will, but as you will”
Is farther ahead in his journey than you are John 5: 30 “By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me.”
Is gentle but strong Matthew 11: 28, 29 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened . . learn from me, for I am gentle”
Brings joy Galatians 5: 22 “the fruit of the Spirit is . . . joy;” Psalm 126: 2 “Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy”
Is respected by other people Luke 4: 22 “All spoke well of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his lips”
Gives you things you don’t even know you need Matthew 7: 11 “If you know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts”
Is loved by your kids Luke 18: 16 “Let the little children come to me”
Has the approval of your family of origin Mark 5: 25 “the man went away and began to tell how much Jesus had done”
Prays with you and for you John 17: 20 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message”
Pays attention to what interests you Psalm 103: 5 “who satisfies your desires with good things;” Philippians 2: 4 “not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others”
Encourages your dreams Psalm 145: 16 “You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing”
Gives things up for you John 15: 13 “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends”
Doesn’t take things personally Matthew 15: 14 “Leave them; they are blind guides”
Is not harsh, but gentle 2 Corinthians 10: 1 “the humility and gentleness of Christ”
Does not quarrel 1 Timothy 3: 3 “not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money”
Is not easily angered 1 Corinthians 13: 5 “[Love] does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered”
Does not expect to be served, but serves Mark 10: 45 “the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve”
Respects your freedom without trying to convince you of his perspective Philippians 2: 3 “in humility value others above yourselves”
Has parents that you respect John 14: 10 “I am in the Father, and the Father is in me”
Is popular - When Andrew met Jesus, the first thing he did afterward was tell his brother, Simon about him. When Philip met Jesus, he found Nathanael and told him about Jesus (John 1: 40-45)
Helps people out even with seemingly insignificant things that aren’t his concern - helping the bridegroom out by turning water into wine (John 2: 7)
Protects his property from intruders - clearing the temple courts (John 2: 16)
Doesn’t get his energy from what other people think of him - because he knows that people are flawed – he gets it from knowing who he is (John 2: 24, 25)
Has knowledge that even the most highly respected people seek - Nicodemus came to Jesus at night to seek answers (John 3: 1-9)
Is not afraid to break tradition in order to do what is good - Talking to the woman at the well (John 4: 7-11)
Has compassion for people who are struggling - seeing the lame man unable to make it into the pool (John 5: 5, 6)
Doesn’t do things for attention John 6: 15 “Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself.”
Always directs people’s attention to God John 6: 32 “it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven”
Can get you from the storm to your destination in the blink of an eye John 6: 21 “they were willing to take him into the boat, and immediately the boat reached the shore where they were heading”
Doesn’t go looking for trouble John 7: 1 “Jesus went around in Galilee. He did not want to go about in Judea because the Jewish leaders there were looking for a way to kill him”
Does everything for God’s glory John 7: 18 “Whoever speaks on their own does so to gain personal glory, but he who seeks the glory of the one who sent him is a man of truth”
Defends those who honor him - The woman who poured perfume on his feet in John 12: 7 - “‘Leave her alone,’ Jesus replied. ‘It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial’”
Has power, but serves John 13: 3, 5 “Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power . . . and began to wash his disciples’ feet”
Protects those he loves - upon his arrest in John 18: 8 he says to the soldiers who came for him: “If you are looking for me, then let these men go”
Holds you Psalm 73: 23 “you hold me by my right hand”
Isn’t that amazing?! Jesus perfectly fulfills all of our desires - and he’s not a fantasy - he’s real and he’s here. He speaks all 5 Love Languages. HE is our one true love. HE is our bridegroom.
And he is the PERFECT MAN.
If you are a woman who longs for what is lacking in your relationship - or maybe you are not in a relationship right now - find fulfillment in the love of Christ. There you will find joy, true love, and healing that brings confidence and clarity to all your relationships both now and for the future. [Get my workbook on healing that will help you know when you’re ready for another relationship]
I hope that this has encouraged you today and helped you recognize your worth. God is madly in love with you - not because of who you are, but because of who he is. And there is nothing that will cause him to stop loving you.
In a world where others often define our worth by our accomplishments or failures, God values us simply because we are his. Rest in that today, friends. And know that . . .
hope isn’t found in our situation changing; it is found in our situation . . .
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