Are you someone who strives to always be nice to people? While being nice feels really good to you, it isn’t looked upon as highly by those who are observing - much to your dismay, because you want to be seen in a positive light. To have someone see your niceness as anything but positive can be devastating to your identity. But we’re going to tackle your codependency in order to bring some truth.

Let’s look at 11 character traits that may appear positive - or even bold - but that actually reveal what you’re secretly afraid of. Identifying why we are the way we are is a necessary step to overcoming fears in order for us to change the dynamics of our unhealthy relationships.

If you try to be compliant and agreeable, you may have a hard time knowing how to be assertive. Setting boundaries and having them respected can be a challenge. But here are eight ways a compliant spouse can calmly resist being controlled.